Non-Erotic PoetryA Night in the Life of St. LizzieLizzie wakes up when Miami Beach
sunset creeps to the bistros and bars
and boarded up box stores in Hialeah.
"For criminy sakes," says Lizzie,
"Too late for my syrup at Dade County clinic"
which could have helped her negotiate
roses she sells to late night men
whose wives pretend husbands don't lie,
whatever they say or smell like in bed.
At midnight she takes a tenth of her profits
to buy a last supper for Luke,
who says he is sick of South Florida
about to take a bus to Detroit,
but at the last minute's thinking LA,
persona non-grata at the depot
until she bought him a Salvation Army
shirt Lizzie buttons up near the graffiti.
As Lizzie baby-wipes both of his hands
she whispers the Lord's Prayer, good as grace,
after which Luke selects Diet Pepsi
and Frito Lays from a vending machine
not far from busboys, whose pockets are empty,
that work in the men's room ten until three
for coke and rum on the rocks and bikinis
she wore once herself, the modest kind,
until the ups and downs started to climb
and plummet and climb and plummet and climb.
Lizzie gives Luke a kiss on his cheek
before she heads for her favorite dumpster
where she gives Esteban one of her roses.
He gives her a customer's disappointment
or some other leftover bistro mistake
she slices in two for her new tramp in town,
known down at the box store as Big Daddy Bear,
who told her last week he's Vincent Van Gogh
until Lizzie whispered love in his ear.
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your poems
Are like a fine wine to be savoured in sips and each morsel tasted, I have read this a number of times and your lizzie is just beautiful, your sense of sonic impression is integral but it is subtle, that it helps emphasise your narratives but is so often unobtrusive. Hialeah breaks you sonic pattern in the first line so perfectly,
Wakes, when,
beach, creeps,
Bistros, bars, boarded, box
Assonance alliteration and spaced in a way that accentuates the read, to the point where it almost represents lizzie soul, just perfect sounds. The whole piece is saturated in feel good sonics.
Dumpster and Esteban is clever.
I love these lines
He gives her a customer's disappointment
or some other leftover bistro mistake
Very original to my eyes.
Thanks for the read gm!more...
Like all of them say - very good indeed.
It is a funny thing (that probably mostly reflects on me) but on this as on so many I intially thought - no this one I do not like , it does not really work. Then each time I read it I like it more - until I like it a great deal. That little musing is probably not interesting to anyone else - but it is to me.more...
wonderful!
You are so descriptive and your empathy shows when you write like this, which is always. I have yet to read a bad poem by you. I wouldn't change a thing here, excellent work!
~ nj
~
I've said it before and I'll say it again, I've yet to see a bad poem from you! You definitely need to be read by a bigger audience and get paid for it! Can't nit pick anything here it's flawless and so good to find among some of the drivel I've waded through! 5edmore...
Very strong and in depth description of the life of a saint, an everyday saint so human that is the only one that can exist. And as always given with your personal style and the particular beauty of your verse. This is a complete poem, needing nothing else.
5ed and thanks for the read.more...
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