A Reprieve

Author's note:

Please bear in mind when reading this poem that it is not quite complete, and may never be. The asteriks indicate a missing section that I'm not yet satisfied with.

I welcome any comments, as well.

A Reprieve
(M.J.)

In some façade of contentment long since passed
I had thought that I was married to the moon.
Every day, blissfully drunk of the sweetest nectars,
Feasting on hallowed stags; reveling in her confidence.
Spinning ageless secrets… secrets for my ears alone
All while basking in her radiant light.
Time had no meaning for us,
ageless and incurable.
For what seemed an eternity her name was ‘love.’
I am hate…

Such a fool to think…
The moon no longer rises,
has no more mysteries to sweetly whisper
and no longer lulls me to sleep with her brilliance
And Hati is not to blame.
Fenrir’s children still hunt endlessly; yearning for their own demise.

A quiver, a shake, a shaking quivering shiver
Masks an unfamiliar pain.
A piercing numbness;
A throat scraped and burnt,
Swollen and raw from which air cannot escape;
rendered useless.
Words and lips never again to meet.

Perhaps more painful than her hidden face,
as the details start to slip into some long forgotten dream.
Are the random icy stabs, burning in my chest.
wounds that fester and torment, but will not heal,
arrows of brilliant, cold, blue white that find their mark
Shot through the heart, but always from the back.
Her love always was marred by cowardice,
Why not her hatred?

What of that forgotten promise,
Made long ago on slaves shores,
seemingly so sacred?
Now just a tragedy of our blood and our gold.
Some strange circles that fingers once traced…
One last kiss to stem silver tears.
Every word a searing scar upon my chest.

Alone.
a lone vessel, raft more than ship.
Tattered sail, wave ravaged logs;
Bound by rotting twine, barely fit to tie a package.

At midnight there upon it lay a man,
A paltry thing aged beyond his years
Entered into this world too soon or too late,
none can say… lingered too long regardless;
A transient visitor,
Robbed of purpose, but not of hate.

Long since abandoned by the immortal spy,
Having danced among the clouds,
Running with content through castles in the sky,
A child’s search for something lost in ages past.
the veil of sky lifts, alas, he does not lie.
ready to simply slip below the icy surface;
Fade away unwanted and unmourned.
Too much time has passed and I do not belong here…
Standing just outside the door,
Open ears listen with regret.
Shrinking from the warm, soft, glowing lights within,
and from those who might see what hides behind these eyes.
Childrens’ laughter strangely hollow,
shadows shake their heads and smile.

Beautiful sky…
clouds fall, filling the sky;
Clouds of blackest pitch, glisten strangely,
A wind gentle, but constant,
Conspires with a lightly falling rain.
Adds a bitter, freezing bite to cool night air.
The distant horizon is pierced, thrown asunder, and swept away.
Two new moons shine in the distance, blazing through the darkness with wondrous brilliant green intensity… two coherent lights,
slightly incoherent.

Through fogs of despair
A ship emerges,
Sleek and elegant,
as waves bow to it’s presence,
there is no battle with the sea.

********

There upon it she stood,
A wondrous vision glowing in the pitch night.
Slight, with raven locks framing a perfect face, alabaster skin,
and eyes, eyes that no human ever claimed.
Eyes of unfathomable depths and beauty.
Two vivid jade gems ringed with gold.
Eyes that stopped my heart, and tore at my soul,
There was some sense that I was falling through the air,
Falling into some wonderful emerald abyss,
or being hypnotized by a cunning hunter.
She took my hand in hers and laughed…

We sat upon the deck staring into midnight
Stretching endlessly in every direction
talking of the relevant and irrelevant…
words spoken for two days,
but the sun never rose.
We found ourselves, lost within a dell.
Familiar now, drawing closer and finding warmth.
Something stirs in the softly blowing night air,
Fighting back shivers that should not be.
Her skin is white and cold.
With my hand in hers, she leads and I follow,
Helpless to let go.
Delicate hands,
Beaded with rain and mist,
feel so cold, yet lend such warmth.

Just drunk enough to suppose… just intelligent enough to hesitate;
My lips, dry and weary,
moved seemingly of their own accord,
To kiss her cheek.
Instead finding softer lips, warm, inviting.
Tongues exploring… foretelling, hinting, insinuating,
Beckoning onwards.

As her gentle, enlivening kiss found my neck,
Those eyes that will forever haunt,
Speak words no mouth ever could:
It’s alright… the pain will not last…
For a moment, I wonder, Am I Diogenese?
Who is this wolf so stained by the light of the moon?
An eternal hunt has ended as skin, flesh, and bone, are rent to rotting blood.
There was nothing then, no past, no future,
A slowly oozing now, in which I lost all shape, all definition.
Did I stumble? did I drop?, was I lifted?
From the sea to the stars,
Suspended in the heavens
There was nothing then, no water, no earth, no ships,

Oh how Oscar would be proud;
As we ignored heavens and earths below,
And so gave birth to our own universe,
Existing only for one singularly perfect moment.
Born of pressure and intensity, cooled to smoldering wonderment.
Her head, fell upon my chest, and two hearts beat as one.
One last smile, one final look into those radiant eyes, one last tear upon my soul…
Fingers entwined in raven locks, we slipped below some cosmic surface
Content to drown in this perfection, and sleep among the stars…

Dawn’s first ray of light flies over the horizon,
An eye slowly parts
We have fallen back to earth.
Ocean stretches in every direction.
The moment must end, as time begins to trickle on
But there is still some wonderful goddess asleep upon my breast.
And a horrid scar upon my neck,
Drunk the poison from me… or let it run its course?
A death whose wake instills life?
Such a small matter.

The sun rises higher… Our perfect moment is ending.
The wolf stirs.
One more kiss before she slipped away.
One more kiss to drive this hunger from our lives.
I held her, as we shivered beneath the rising sun…
Looking down and falling into her eyes.
If she so desired, I would let those green and yellow pools of intensity devour me.
One last kiss before she slipped away.
One last kiss to drive this hunger from our lives…

Somewhere, in the distance, a blind woman smiles,
Some sweet smelling breeze caresses,
it’s gentle touch soothing,
taking with it sadness and cares.
Still lingered too long,
still a stranger without purpose.
Love shouts it’s stupidity.
Not to be painted on a wall;
What can be found within a look
can be found in a life, in a lifetime, and in a moment.
A fleeting love no less sincere,
sometimes more.
Grown no less likely to slip below icy waters,
But perhaps grown sage in time to appreciate my own heart,
Before its last beat.