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- Poetry With Audio
- A Small Brown Burr on my Shoestring
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I met her on a winter's walk
Through the frozen wood;
A small brown burr that had clung
To the lacing of my shoe.
I let her ride there
For awhile
Since she caused no harm.
I let her slip into my shoe
To keep my stocking warm.
The more she sat I realized
The sore spot on my foot.
I kept walking
Ignoring the sting
And focused on the cold.
The more I denied the burning prick
The more my foot was raw.
It wasn't long before I saw
I could take no more.
My gloved hand tugged
At the stubborn brown burr,
Great displeasure growing;
Trying in vain to throw her away
As she stuck to my finger and thumb.
I rolled her around there for awhile
Deciding what should be done.
I wiped my hand across my pants
And wished that she were gone.
As I walked, I began to relax
I lost watch on my burr.
She slipped away when my back was turned
And hitched a ride back home.
I caught her spirit on the tail
Of a swift white deer.
I wish her well as she darts away
And slowly turn my back.
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2 Comments
Reltneabout 19 years ago***
This has some strong potential, but it reads to me as if it not yet finished. There are some very good lines and images, but (IMHO) there are also some that need to be tweaked and polished a bit.
May I be so bold as to suggest that you put this one aside for awhile and come back to it in a month or so with a clear eye.
Keep writing (and reading)!
