- Erotic Poetry
- A View to Start the Morning
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Click hereLight steaks across the room
He stands at the foot of the bed
Fresh out of the shower
Beaded water on his skin
Towel slung low on his hips
He doesn’t see me watching
He stares at himself in the mirror
Studies his body
I watch through barely open eyes
Studying lines and curves
He’ll dress and leave
I’ll sit and draw
I’ll sketch the lines
And draw the curves
Attention to detail with every stroke
An image will appear
The memory of the dawn
The view from my bed
Of the naked man
The man I share my bed with
- COMMENTS
Reltneover 18 years agoWelcome to Lit poetry. This is a good poem, but could be even better with a little tightening and pruning. In particular You might want to rethink, or even eliminate, the final line. If the poem is just for "him" it is a nice touch, but (IMO) it weakens the work for an uninvolved reader.
ffreakover 18 years agoNice imagery and I like the way you put the picture within the picture by having us watch you make the drawing. Hope we see more from you.
