- Non-Erotic Poetry
- A village lost
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Click hereA village lost
In the depths as sea
Reclaims shore,
Time leaves me only
Another's memories.
- COMMENTS
Angelinealmost 16 years agoI think if I read enough of these tankas (I think you said they're tankas), I'll understand the form. There are only two words that raise questions for me: first, "the" in line two seems unnecessary, as if it's a placeholder to meet the syllable requirements. You could replace it with an adjective that describes the sea, but maybe that would weaken the line. Second, "truth" seems slightly off to me. It is "truth" in a very broad sense that can leave one with regret, but something like "time" seems as if it would be more specific. It's a sad, sort of bittersweet image. I'm really enjoying reading these little slices of life.
LeBrozalmost 16 years agoThis poem has been selected for listing in Wednesday's New Poems Review.<br>
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