Abandoned

Reminds me of another 'uncurious guy' we know.

Extinguishing the vision of self-fulfillment and curiosity.

ABANDONED

a young boy

around 8 years-old

went to the library

and would look

through the shelves

for something to read.

after picking out

one and signing it out,

he discovered

it didn't satisfy his curiosity

and returned the book

without pursuing something

more to his liking

and became a follower.

that price-

you can read it

in his eyes.

1. I would delete the 2nd line completely and make the first line "An eight year old boy".

2. Use "After picking a book out and bringing it home" instead of "After picking out one amd signing it out" , to avoid the repetition of the word "out" and the problem of "one" not referring to something concrete. (the mind will make the "one" a book, but why not be clearer?)

3. Use "and returned the volume" , since from 2, you have now used the word book once already.

4. Replace "something" with "a topic" to make your point clearer.

5. Instead of "and became..." (too many ands!) you might try..."When he was older, the boy bcame a follower..."

Thanks for a cool poem, Sack

to this poem's title. Never thought about the abandonment of one's self; the choices we do - or do not make - that can alter our paths in life. Another cuisine to ponder from the poet's Meals on Wheels. Don, I'm starting to put on weight <sigh>

Vixxx

Your Poem was mentioned on the thread

"New Poems Reviews"

thanks for the journey