Absence of Desire

Like the ebb and flow of tides on the sea,
He rocks in and out of me.
In my mind, I lie on the sandy beach
Staring blankly at the waves, trying in vain to reach...what?

I feel nothing.

I turn my head, hiding my tears from prying eyes.
He knows something's wrong, sees the pain I can't disguise
But what can he do? He feels as helpless as I.
We grind and thrust to no end, I silently cry.

I am lost.

Go ahead and come, I tell him with my gaze.
His concern is evident even as his hips raise
Against mine. His eyes ask: What about you?
The familiar lie: It's all right, do what you have to do.

I feel cheated.

He is free to move, pounding towards release.
I have no choice but to hang on, waiting for him to cease
And I weep inside for all I miss,
I drown in the sorrow that begins from the first kiss...

I am numb.