ache

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the darkness fills my aching skull
slipping into a world half known
sliding from sleep to a web of dreams
lost within my deepest screams
i ache - i burn, to feel your touch
your hands upon my heart - so rough
and somewhere deep within me lies
the power of all that i deny
i push away my truest self
i hide within these walls ive built

i wait for you each night and pray
that i can last just one more day
to feel you, hold you, hear your voice
soon i know ill make that choice
to kill that burning aching need
to smother the flame, to begin to bleed
to crush this gift once again
toss it to the sky and hold it in
and wrap myself again in smiles
and walk through life like a little child

can't you see what we began
can you really let this end
can you walk away from me
in your heart, will you be free?
or will what we had linger ever on
in darkest night, my memory strong
does this mean nothing - or will you wish
as i do for one more kiss?
a kiss of truth that sets you free
accepting what inside you see
or will you forget and smile and say
that was not me, that is not my way?

and waiting here it begins to rain
each drop that falls brings only pain
it washes away these bits of me
that you would never want to see
i reach for you but you are gone
and lying here, i begin my song
of this longing ache that fills my soul
with words and music you'll never know
so walk, my friend, walk proud and smile
into your life and in awhile
the mask you use will fit your face
all traces of me will be erased

walk on, have fun, don't think of me
all i want is for you to feel free
to understand what you have done
to know that something was begun
an ache, a call, a whisper strong
a hint of truth where you belong
and while your new life flies right on by
in the rainstorm i will lie
and smile as a memory closes in
and then, the ache begins again

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