Adrift

Adrift

deep within my being the anger still simmers
twisting & turning, looking to escape
it tunnels through my self esteem
looks for an exit through my very soul

and i am trying to ignore the memories and pain
the photographs burnt in to my mind
the words written in deceit
the unbearable loss of a life ended before it had begun

what twisted logic inside you
decided that one heart could be sacrificed
why did you listen to the voices that raged around you
clouding your judgement, inciting you to acts of betrayal

they laughed in the face of our existance
taking what was once ours for their own amusement
and the darkness gained entrance to my soul

i walked away from you after
left you to the vultures that circled over you
but tearstained and broken you begged me
week after week as your tears flowed
and finally i gave you forgiveness as you knelt before me
while you promised to heal me completely

but slowly it festers eating away at our destiny
every time i turn my back
it starts creeping up on me
trying to drag me back down in to the mire

with every sunkissed breath on my heart
every expression of love, desire
subtley it creeps in between us
mocking me for leaving myself open

trying to push us ever so slowly apart
inch by inch dark thoughts seep inside
and i battle to keep our dreams from shattering

i'm still showing a smiling face to the crowd
painted on with a heavy hand, kept in place by hope
that one day it will be a natural expression of my heart
and all the crimson rage, the toxins inside me
will crawl back in to the dark
exiting from my body
taking their cold, clinging hands
leaving me with my soul
leaving us to each other

their voices are silenced now, locked out
and i wait for the darkness to recede
for that which was once beautiful to blossom again
but in their wake lays a fractured spirit
and we cling to each other
holding on to the realities of our life
having to believe that time is indeed the healer

always through the pain
i cling to the hope

© kmh