tagNon-Erotic PoetryAdvice For Most Occasions!

Advice For Most Occasions!

byUncle Pervey©

If you're in a bar, and a drunk,
Starts to cut up, and act real mean.
The best way you can sober him,
Is choke him til he turns green!

If your man gives you a slap,
Cause he's ornry, and feelin' mean.
Knock him down with a frying pan,
Then choke him til he turns green!

When you're confessin' your sins,
And that Priest is treatin' you mean.
Reach through that screen, and grab his neck,
And choke him til he turns green!

When your Mother-In-Law comes,
And aggrivates you, actin' mean.
Give her a kick in her hind-end,
Then choke her til she turns green!

If a traffic cop stops you,
And writes a ticket, cause he's mean.
Rip that ticket into pieces,
Then choke him til he turns green!

If you're shopping in a store,
And the clerk acts nasty, and mean.
Throw the merchandise in his face,
And choke him til he turns green!

If someone car-jacks your car,
And the villain is actin' mean.
Disarm him, when you get a chance,
Then choke him til he turns green!

If you're faced with a lawyer,
Who's mad at you, and actin' mean.
Distract the "critter", with soft words,
Then choke him til he turns green!

If your wife's, on a rampage,
Because she's feelin' cross, and mean.
Give her a swat, on her bottom,
And love her, until she screams!

I had to make this one end just right,
If I want to sleep with Mama tonight!!

Report Story

byUncle Pervey© 3 comments/ 4658 views/ 0 favorites

Share the love

Report a Bug

1 Pages:1

Please Rate This Submission:

Please Rate This Submission:

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Please wait
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

There are no recent comments (3 older comments) - Click here to add a comment to this poem or Show more comments or Read All User Comments (3)

Add a

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

Refresh ImageYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar: