after 8 years

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203 words
4.5
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Part 1 of the 3 part series

Updated 03/17/2021
Created 05/22/2003
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The conversation I just had with you devastated me for so many reasons.
I am not ready to have contact like that, where we pretend to be friends. My heart aches so deep that it bleeds, and that is why I close down.
I think it is time for me to throw in the towel and say yes, I am defeated, reduced, and ready to say goodbye.
I am ready to end the misery that is called living.
Does that surprise you...that I am not well.
You are not my keeper, nor am I. That belongs to fate.
My messages are unraveled, scarce, and forgotten...like snow flakes on a spring morning.
I thought this sharp stinging pain would end, I thought another would walk in and make me forget, but all I know is silence and sorrow.
I wonder how such a character can go so astray.

To my surprise, I am not needed or wanted. I am not wondered about or expressed too. I am easily replaced.

What an act, a game, a life I have built. To see it end is...devastating.

Peace will never come to me, I don't deserve it. The beheading would prove the best course of action.


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