Against the Barrier Risen

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I think we all struggle against it at times.
137 words
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wakingDown
wakingDown
654 Followers

Dig! Claw strike kick bite anything
Rip at the blank white barrier risen
Sprint along it slashing with nails
Lashing out in hopes of a crack
A weakness a point of stress

Found! A seam up high waiting
Scrabble up the face of the thing
Fingers dig purchase painfully
Nails split against the bone
In the fight for traction

Dig, burrow, rip, tear
Tunnel into it any way found

Chipped! Progress made slowly
Will and force breaking at the wall
Screaming rage and faster hands
Adrenaline strength gives fear
Fueled speed and endurance

Light! Seen through that puncture
The brace of new air against cold skin
A peek at the world outside the skull
Screams that might now be heard
By someone other than this brain

Chipped gap in calcium prison
Promising progress towards the light

wakingDown
wakingDown
654 Followers
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6 Comments
Senna JawaSenna Jawaover 6 years ago
Confusion

This is a pseudo-poem (I will not bother to "vote").

greenmountaineergreenmountaineerover 6 years ago

Powerful title; it makes the reader wonder what the barrier is and who made it rise. I like the one syllable words with an exclamation point. I would have added them to Rip and Sprint in the first stanza.

I concluded that the images were universal enough to let me fill in the blanks of what the barrier is and who made it rise. I saw success, or perhaps redemption, through perseverance as the overarching theme. The last 7 lines were very meaningful for me in particular.

This is an exceptional poem IMO because it got me to thinking well after I finished reading it.

greenmountaineergreenmountaineerover 6 years ago

Pretty heady, WD. First impression very favorable, but I need more to digest it.

tazz317tazz317over 6 years ago
A TALE OF AN EMERGING CAVITY

as written in the DDS handbook, TK U MLJ LV NV

Ashesh9Ashesh9over 6 years ago
is this Consciousness itself fighting against unconsciousness ??

5-ed : seeing your poem after a loooong time , Bro!!

How have you been? and of course welcome back!

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