Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereAlchemy
-------------------------------------------
My first spell was held in a smile
Ear to ear, eclipsing the sun itself
Head tilted, blonde hair tumbling
across flashing green eyes
All warmth and light and promise.
My second spell was precision itself.
The perfect mix of all ears, wise counsel
And incisive challenge.
The voice marrying exactly with the
message. Teasing and exotic.
My third spell held the rush of blood heat,
Insinuated passion. Spike heels,
painted nails, soft meadows, deep
sighs, rivers of moisture and lusts.
Mix it up and never be predictable.
You will recognise this alchemy
You will know of it's danger in the wrong place
And of its impotence in the wrong hands
And of it majesty as the alchemist
turns victim and her heart fragments.
I'm of a different opinion. I like the rising heat of the stanzas and, rather than weak, find the last stanza strong. The poem as a whole speaks of growing experience, each stanza building on the last. In the final stanza the speaker has become elevated beyond the first three and now can comment on all of what has gone before. There is a detached quality about the last stanza, but there is still an eroticism here. It changes the tone of the poem, but I think the last stanza's unexpectedness makes it all the stronger. Excellent.
I am with the previous poster. In the last stanza you IMO unnecessarily ‘elevated’ the language to a meta- level, that is – compared with the previous three. On the SAME LEVEL of imagery you could have represented broken spells/powers. Still it’s a poem with a broken Alchemy – I mean in a GOOD way!
I enjoyed reading this. I liked your language and imagery, think about changing the last stanza. I felt it was weaker, imho, then the other three.
Mentioned in today's new poem reviews