- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Alone
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Click hereAlone
All around are people
Laughing, talking
Enjoying themselves
The sounds
Float over
But seem
So far away
Still I feel lonely
Why? I know why
A face appears
But it's not you
So alike
But not the same
The evening ends
And I go home
To dream again
Like yesterday
- COMMENTS
LeBrozover 17 years agoHere's a piece suffering major punctuation deficiencies. The strophe about a face that is so familiar could be made much stronger without the, "Still I feel lonely Why?"
Pump up the facial familiarity and the memories it triggers and make it lead into a statement. Would be much more powerful.
