Amante VII (Hypersonnet)

Poem Info
153 words
4.43
3.4k
1
Poem does not have any tags

Part 8 of the 15 part series

Updated 05/12/2022
Created 06/22/2004
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here

Please do not ask, Amante, if we love.
Darkness is nigh; the moon is lemon pale,
and we embrace in arms of comet trail,
awash in teardrops from the stars above.
Trabe los ojos, ángel. Dése yo.
Empuje el dolor dentro de mí.
I am your mouth. You are my sea.
We are primordial in mingled flow.
Susurro a mí; let all our secrets go
into tides, mi dulce, where we are free
to float enrapt in moan and sigh. The night
unfolds its depths in lips, in languor slow.
You make your limbs enfold me as a tree
clings to the midnight Sun, drinking its light.
We soar here together, enjoined like dove
to wing. We cry one song, our voices sail
to safer harbor, past where we might fail
against the crags, heedless strike and shove
of circumstance. Querida, cast off fright.
Don't call it love, Amante, call it right.

Please rate this poem
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
6 Comments
LeBrozLeBrozover 16 years ago
~~

This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 37,500 poems.

----------

normal jeannormal jeanover 19 years ago
just beautiful

and reads like the succulent love poem that it is meant to be. terrific series, Eleanora ;)

EumenidesEumenidesover 19 years ago
Eu's take

Ok, I'm going to be picky here, because it was form you chose to use. The iambic pentameter was dead on, but sometimes it was off a bit, and others it was inverted.

If it wasn't a hypersonnet, I would love this poem with it's bilingual flair is faboo.

perksperksover 19 years ago
perkspective

I love the latina in youuuu. This poem has a lot of vida *grin* I missed the forms, structural breaks, and only a few points really flow. I think your iambic pentameter needs work too, but if I ignore the hypersonnet part, it's a good poem.

TathagataTathagataover 19 years ago
Don't call it love, Amante, call it right.

How perfect is that line??

each poem amazes me more and more...and each one throws me into a meditation that lasts for some minutes

on how rich and beautiful and languid these words flow, and what sweet whispered emotions they carry.

muy bueno

muchos gracias

Show More
Share this Poem

READ MORE OF THIS SERIES

Amante VIII Next Part
Amante Series Info