an amnesia poem

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75 words
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bars and taxi-cabs,
friends and highways,
philosophers and arabs,
the beloved counselor
who'd serve me tea,
the times I was jailed
and the times I was freed

all
live on in my memory
only precariously

books that I read
things that I said
women I took to bed
have from my head
faded and fled

But much still lives on
and will come the dawn,
at least that's the star
that I wish upon

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2 Comments
vrosej10vrosej10about 13 years ago
well I loved it

I gave it five and I am recommending it. I do agree with the star thing at the end. Good to hear from you Sean.

twelveoonetwelveooneabout 13 years ago
What works

at least that's the star

that I wish upon

despite looking like a cliched ending, i feel that reducing it to a resigned figure of speech works in context.

what doesn't work is the excessive rhyme of read/said/bead...

i feel it carries it too far into triteness. A hesitant 5

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