An Anniversary

Married now 16 years
My sweet love, I’ve lost you
I fear

Not by choice
By circumstance
I hear your voice

At night when I lie
Awake
And want to cry

From missing you
You whisper soft and sweetly
“I love you; I do”

Your words
Do not console me
I know what I heard

“We’re drifting apart”
It’s in the subscript
And it tears at my heart

But you are where
You need to be
And all’s fair

So I’m on this shore
Ass swinging in the wind
Bruised at the core

Wishing we could connect

In retrospect
I miss your touch
And your laughter
Oh, so much

Your long tapered fingers
And your sleepy smile
Which lingers

Long after you wake
As morning breaks

I miss our bed
The smell of the pillow
Where you lay your head

Your tangly toes
And perfect nose

You engage me when I isolate
Bring me into your universe
(mine is much worse)

And I curse
Fate

For bringing us
To this pass

This sorry morass

But really I’m fine
The separation is of
Body and mind

Not spirit or soul
We may walk separate paths
Have different goals

You will always be
A part of me

I love you so