Anathema

So did I deserve this end?
What did I do to deserve this crucible?
Did I not love you like you should have been loved?
Did I not make you happy?
Or was I your anathema?

I sit here listening to the same song over and over again.
Memories come flooding back like a river that bursts its banks
What did I do?
I am in eternal damnation, a inner sanctum of despair and pain
As you sleep soundly I am in torment
How the fuck did I end up here?
In this fucked up pain prison?

Feel my pain, its like leprosy
Feel my hurt, its like the deepest gorge
As you make love to your new man
Know the carcass of a soul you left here to deflate
Knows know bounds of inner anarchy

As you tell your new man you love him
Don't forget my love was real and pure
But my love was anathema for you
You didn't want a love that bound you safety and passion
You mesmerised my senses
For one month I begged and pleaded for you to come back to me
I emailed, called and left you cards
I sent you videos left unopened
Every word seemed to seep away unheld
What did I do so wrong to have you reject me so many times
And yet I came back and offered myself again and again

So now at the depths of this pain prison
I feel a rise of my own Anathema
A heart that bleeds cauterizes
Blood doesn't seep out but my own love
A liquid rich in your rejection of me
So now when you fuck your new man
I descend even further into my own Anathema

Never again do I want to feel love
If this is what love does at the end.
At your most happiest it cuts you down
And reminds you that pain is your only friend.

There is nothing more to say to you
There is nothing worth writing no more.
Feel my heart start to burn
Then watch me burn in this fucking pain prison.