Anguish

When I am searching- trying to make it through a lonely night,
I can find nothing- And I cry out
It gets harder to maintain the veneer of calm.
And I am lost in the whirlwind of
Loneliness, pain and anger.
Trying to break the cycle of despair.

I find a friend- only to lose
As the burdens I shoulder are loosed on the world
From the weakness in my soul
That makes me cry out for help
And I find no answer.
The sin of Pride holding me back
Until I have nowhere to turn.

When all I want is a little peace,
A companion ,
And a sense of purpose.
My weariness knows no bounds.

My wounds unhealed,
My spirit battered,
My thoughts hopeless.
 My pride gone
My anger growing-
Until I lose control.

Then I weep.

For what I cannot do alone,
For the help I cannot find
For the friend that I have lost
And for the peace that is just out of my grasp.

And the dreams that I once had
Lay in ruins
Shattered by the things I cannot control