clutching a black and white photograph
of a pure white lacy two year old
as if it were a daguerreotype
from the Gilded Age of wrap around
porches with fine China tea sets
and maple trees on Maple Street
she once saw in a magazine.
But four flights down the walk-up tonight
prowling around on the street
are dog pack boys at midnight
looking for bitches forever in heat
as a hot August city breeze blows
and a midnight ragged Annie decides
it's time to put a thirty year old
photograph down and go to sleep.
Please Rate This Submission:
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- Recent
Comments - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
Cdn
I always enjoy reading your comments because of the effort you bring to them and how they help me critically look at what I've written from a different perspective.
The issue you raise is, in fact, the psychology of the "johns" out on the street with respect to the prostitutes they seek.
Poetry for me is precise, so I don't view your comment as a quibble. Thanks for it. Now I have to figure out a way to re-phrase it.more...
Like this a lot
I am sure I commented on this a day or so ago. As I wrote it in Word and pasted it in, possibly I copied it into the wrong poem – which might have been confusing for the author. Hopefully instead, in my old age I just failed to post it.
I very much like this poem. It his simplicity, subtlety and great feeling.
My single quibble was whether ‘forever’ was the right word in the right place. Logically it means that the dogs (canine or human) were looking for bitches that were specifically always on heat – whereas I imagine that they only care that the bitches are on heat at that point of time (and as it happens are permanently so). A quibble but that interpretation is what the words carry even if we ‘know’ what is actually meant and it impacts the effect of the poem on the reader.
Like I said, I like this poem a lot.more...
5ed
recommended
w/o comment
The contrast between the Gilded Age porches with fine China tea sets ....'n ...
Prowling dog pack boys @ midnite is sharp ......Killing ! 5- ed.
Show more comments or
Read All 4 User Comments or
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!