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Click hereLook at you struggle
for a grip on a throat
so safely out of reach
and a fist in a leering grin
shattering perfect teeth.
As if tearing them apart
would accomplish anything
but scattered limbs
and yet a sea of untidy,
just as red as when you
leaked your defeat
onto the white and soft
that was supposed
to welcome and shelter.
As if vengeance disguised
in the sheep's cloth of justice
at your ever so incapable hands
would somehow transform
to alleviation and remedy
of what suddenly snapped,
and left you disfigured
to spit venomous sentiments
so terrible to the voice
but still so beautiful to the
semantically oblivious eye.
As if you could ever undo
and shove my personal
misdirected mantra of all
the as-if that I cling to
down my defensive throat,
once and for all proving
my own evasion as wrong
as it deserves to be,
Please,
struggle for me.
Vengence disguised in the sheep's clothing of justice. Sound familiar?
The 'as if' pattern at first eluded me, than I caught it and the rest finally made some sense.
worked well, and you presented the idea well. Something didn't grab me here, I understand the meaning and agree, but it felt like a cascade of differing metaphors, each not
really supporting the other. While the overall meaning is undeniable, the poem felt somehow disjointed.
jim :)
the subject matter makes me cringe much like my smack poetry. However it is incredibly written, and gets me in your mind immediately. Well done. love the line "the white and soft" truly poetic.