- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Antimetabolism On A Balcony
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When January
was fall gray
and rust brown
the asphalt serpent
was well camouflaged,
but unable
to hush the rush
of passing tires.
Since snow fell,
I can't hear the highway,
but see it.
- COMMENTS
clutching_calliopeabout 17 years agobecause I really enjoyed it the other day as well (when it didn't have a title yet). I think your word choice is perfect for conveying that muffled snow sound feeling, when everything is heard through a pillow, especially this "asphalt serpent".
Excellent work.
Anonymousover 17 years agoIsn't that what makes losing weight so difficult? This is a lovely, evocotive poem, mm. A true ten.
Tess
colddieselover 17 years agoCalled to mind the sound a slow moving car tyre makes on fresh snow.
duddle146over 17 years agoThis poem is filled with wonderful word images and builds to completion.
Amyfriendover 17 years agosuch a sweet and descriptive little poem........ A naked highway does tend to get very 'tired'.
