Anyone can be a Bukowski

If anyone can become president,
surely anyone can be Chuck B.
Just quit your job at the Post Office
and set out on a decade long
vagabond bender, mix with a few
broads, odd jobs and lots of alcohol.
Then start writing drivel in
the Beat style with a dystopian
in your face antidisestablishmentarian
attitude but not too many big words.
The world'll be your oyster
with booze and drugs overflowing.
Women will spread their legs
to have you pilfer their pearl
then they pen their own opus
“Blowing My Hero.”
You’ll die in your seventies with
Buddhist funeral rites, leaving
thousands of poems, some good,
some not so good, hundreds of
short stories, six novels and
more than sixty books with
your moniker in front.

Yes anyone can
be a Bukowski,
but only he was.