- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Appreciation
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white hunter hold the pine hold the dark hold in the rush in this little bit of tumbler a rose is a rose is a rose is dirty yellow white in white in handkerchiefs eggs and sugar and jam it not with little dots brown which is not liquid not so more is a relaxed Mouse to rub her coke nearly crazy like a donkey that means to say that means to say that means a little monkey goes like a little called pauline like a little called anything shows a white hunter a shining indication of yellow a star glide a single frantic sulleness a whole few watermelon count count so that thicker is leaning this is not true white hunter if it is absurd then it is leading mention nothing.
- COMMENTS
Deceptive_Appearanceover 15 years agoAlthough the words are hard to assemble the first time around, I found myself wanting to read the poem several times over. Reading it is much like chasing after a creature slightly faster than me. Intriguing and unorthodox -- i really liked it. Keep it up.
duddle146about 17 years agoWhile the images were interesting, the running together did distract somewhat from the beauty of the poem.
LeBrozabout 17 years agoIncessant babbling or stream of consciousness;
In either case, punctuation is superfluous.
Anonymousalmost 19 years agoI love to see people take chances rather than to stay comfortably within limits.
You have some good ideas in here but like twelveoone and Jennifer C, I question whether you have chosen the best style for this particular poem.
I have a whole thesis in my head about discarding punctuation but I'm going to stop before I become too boring.
I have to mark you high for putting yourself on the line though.
