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At the End
Has another filled the empty space
does someone else now touch your face
with fingers light and spirit willing
to share your thoughts and keep the chilling
air of midnight from your back
and bring some light to corner black
to want to have you feel the warm
of that from which my passion
for you
was born. . .
Do you twist and turn in body long
do you hear in distance your swan song
is comfort found in something other
than what we found
undercover?
Will you ever let me in
to hold and taste and touch again?
Welcome to Lit. This first piece shows real promise. My concern is in that first strophe which reads like a run-on sentence. There are no clearly delimited breaks, a problem I think would be easily fixed by you. Keep on submitting and show us all your capabilities.