tagErotic PoetryAussie Limericks 21-40

Aussie Limericks 21-40


‘The limerick’s an art form complex
Whose contents run chiefly to sex
It’s famous for virgins
And masculine urgin’s
And vulgar, erotic effects’
Rupert Hart-Davies


There was a young lady from Ardmona
Whose man, when he's hard likes to phone her
And then as they chat
He’ll do this and then that
She’s found out that he’s really a loner

There was a young lady from Ashfield
Whose charms made men quickly yield
All those she had known
Gave up with a groan
As the skin down their cocks she unpeeled

There was a young lady from Aranda
To her love's every whim would pander
His needs quite sadistic
Met hers masochistic
And as praise he'd often back-hand her

There was a young lady from Ararat
Whose love is a drum playing acrobat
She finds he's inclined
When she's lying supine
With his prick down her spine go ratatat

There was a young lady from Ascot
From eating baked beans too much gas got
Found the nastiest part
Not the smell of the farts
But the force of its pass made her arse hot

There was a young lady from Avalon
Being sexually free was oft put upon
Men flocked to her doors
In dozens and scores
They came - then they came - then were gone

There was a young lady from Avoca
Had a long love affair with a poker
It was beautifully long
So hard and so strong
And with wet stuff never did soak her

There was a young lady from Bacchus Marsh
Made a sketch of Caracas in gouache
She'd a thing about Brits
Wore wode on both tits
And pig’s fat to stiffen her moustache

There was a young lady from Balgowlah
During sex proved to be a loud howler
Disturbing the neighbours
With her raucous capers
So they built a brick wall all around her

There was a young lady from Balmoral
Whose life-style was really immoral
Took the vicar in hand
The choir on the sand
And as for the bishop - well oral

There was a young lady from Banksia
Found her man wearing clothes that were fancier
Than what she had bought
And thought that he ought
To lend some, if he truly did fancy her

There was a young lady from Bankstown
Whose hair hung in very long lanks down
The backs of her thighs
Which often gave rise
To knots - when she screwed with it let down

There was a young lady from Barton
Kept strange gifts from her love in a carton
Brief panties of lace
Masks for her face
And a bra' in a loud Scottish tartan

There was a young lady from Batman
Who'd gone out for years with a fat man -
‘While he's not a real stud
I'm a stick in the mud
And it saves me from choosing this or that man’

There was a young lady from Belconnen
Has for years by her man been downtrodden
Which becomes very plain
When they fuck in the rain
And her clothes get totally sodden

There was a young lady from Beaufort
Into sex put not too much effort
It was known that she'd say
As she placidly lay -
‘It's O.K. - but I like coming in comfort’

There was a young lady from Bega
For frolics and such was quite eager
But from her lonely bed
Quite sadly had said -
‘The pickings around here are too meagre’

There was a young lady from Bell
Did things too unpleasant to tell
With a sheep and a goat
And a long knotted rope
If you can imagine it - well...!

There was a young lady from Belmore
Her fame was the odd clothes she wore
A see-through black sack
Little front and less back
But a panel that trailed on the floor

There was a young lady from Belrose
Would nude, each day by her gate pose
Enticing each boy
And smiling with joy
At the cocks, as they passed, that arose

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