Awakened

Awakened from sleep in the middle of the night-
Terrified as my heart races, I reach to turn on the light.
Clutching my pillow, holding it close to my chest,
I wipe the sweat from my brow as I struggle to catch my breath.
I blink my eyes furiously, yet the image remains.
Seeing him sneak into my room once again engulfs me with pain.
Watching him slowly approach my bed feeling riddled with guilt and shame
As he continues to rob this little girl of her innocence once again.
Fearful what he may do if I refuse, I let him do as he pleases.
I moan and writhe, doing whatever it takes for him to mop up his need as he caresses and teases.
Hearing him talk dirty sends a chill up my spine
As his fingers and mouth probe, I long for peace of mind.
Feeling things and being touched as though I were an adult, my flesh aroused, as it should
While my heart and mind silently scream “this isn’t good.”
Once he’s satisfied, he walks away to his routine
Leaving me feeling dirty and used, wondering if all I’ve become is a living magazine.
Hours have passed and I still feel his eerie touch
Clinging to my pillow, wondering why it hurts so much.
I blink once more and the image is finally gone from view
Clutching my pillow tighter as years ago I used to do.
My mind racing as fear, shame, guilt, and pain torment me the rest of the night.
I lie there wide-awake, once again unable to turn off the light.