- Erotic Poetry
- Ballad of a Modern Man (and Woman)
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He took one hand off the steering wheel
As he drove back home to Brent
Sniffed at his cunty fingers
Inhaled her sweetest scent
He'd really not intended
To get up to his old tricks,
They'd met online and she'd sent pics
Of her taking off her knicks
And she'd spread her legs wide
And showed him her bum
Well really it'd be churlish
Not to bloomin' come!
So he told his wife
That he was meeting two mates
But what he really meant was
He was meeting to mate!
And they met at lunchtime
Or they met after dark
In car parks and lay-bys
And they fucked in the park
She feigned Pilates
He feigned the gym
And he seduced her
And she ravished him
He probed inside her knickers
She plundered his HOM pants
And on his Nissan back seat
They writhed their coitus dance
He's a caring considerate husband
She's a devoted saintly wife
He's a thoroughly modern Lothario
And she leads a double life.
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