Ballbusting haikus

What's the best way to break through writer's block while working on an erotic story? Why, by writing a bunch of erotic haiku, apparently. Please enjoy these weird, weird poems :P

—

Biggest balls in town
Just made him a big target
Soon enough: *pop* *pop*

Female seeks a male:
Must enjoy walks on the beach
And constant nutache

“My balls,” croaked the frog
“My testicles!” squeaked the mouse
“My NUTS!!!” howled the wolf

After a long day
She couldn’t wait to unwind
With her man’s stress balls

God, he loved her legs.
If only they weren’t always
Smashing up his nuts

Swollen full of cum,
Or swollen from all those kicks?
Who knows? Probably both

He’s a masochist
She’s a sadist, through and through
What a lucky pair

In hindsight, bad plan,
Betting you could take those kicks
Props, though — that took balls!

Could they take her weight?
Carefully, she stepped on one—
The answer was no :(

She was one hot chick
And she was not shy about
Scrambing your eggs

Are your balls too small?
Join our “Big Balls (BB)” club
Growth is guaranteed!

She misunderstood
What he meant by “bust a nut”
As he soon found out

“Left or right?” she asked
He was indecisive, so
She just crushed them both

As a squirrel, she had
Decades of experience
Chomping down on nuts

Friendly little kicks
Her leg barely moved at all
But he sure felt it

As she sucked his balls
She mistook his rising moans
For cries of pleasure

His first day as a
Self-defense class volunteer
Was his last day, too

Former cheerleader
She could kick as hard as hell
Shake those pom-poms, girl

“She’s so hot,” he said
“I’d give my left nut for her”
Not the wisest trade

He enjoyed footpaws
She was happy to oblige
Smack. Smack. Smack. Smack. Smack.

—

Here’s an easy way
To get a male’s attention:
Grab him by the balls

And if you want his
UNDIVIDED attention:
Pop one of ‘em first

—

Her workout was strict:
50 kicks every morning,
50 every night

It kept her legs strong
And it left her gym partner
Hella swole as well

—

The bull was quite proud
Of his big, low-hanging balls…
’Til he sat on them

That was bad enough
Then his girlfriend cheerfully
Hopped into his lap

—

Her handjob technique
was clumsy: each stroke like a
soft punch in the nuts

As he got closer
And her strokes got more eager,
It only got worse

Until finally
He had to ask her to stop
And left with blue balls

—

The best birth control
Is natural, fast, and fun
(For the girl, at least)

Spend an hour or three
Smashing your man’s testicles
Until they shoot blanks

Once he’s sterilized
Suck him off to clear the pipes
And he’s good to go 👍

Repeat once a week
Or more often if you like
Results may vary

—

She forgot sunscreen!
Luckily, her mate could provide
A few thick white spurts

He was quite willing
To help her make sure she was
Covered head-to-toe

Though he would have liked
If she had spent less effort
Squeezing it all out

He squawked like a gull
As she wrung every last drop
Out of his beach balls

Until finally
The twin tanks had nothing left
And popped in her claws

—

She’d teased him for weeks:
Talons dancing on his shaft,
Making his balls ache

If he got too close,
She’d grab one nut in each paw
And squeeeeze until soft

Then she’d start again:
Stroking, sucking — fucking, too
Driving her man wild

Cock as hard as stone
Gonads swollen from abuse
Desperate to cum

She watched his dick twitch
Drooling precum down his shaft
Onto his blue balls

When she took mercy
And let her mate blow his load
It was a geyser

Ropes and ropes of cum
A month’s work of scrambled spunk
All over the room

He moaned with relief
She just grinned and gave his sac
One more friendly slap