- Erotic Poetry
- Because You Asked
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
It's the squirm in the chair when the question is asked
The sweet stinging kiss when ruler meets flesh
The parting of lips and the catching of breath
The illicit whisper and the peak of my nipples
The sound of the smack and the ache of the twist
The wet glide of fingers and the jerk of my hips
The hot flush of my cheeks and the parting of thighs
The pant of my breath when I've lost and you've won
The sir and the yours and the now and the cunt
- COMMENTS
bulltlrabout 13 years agoI liked this... but I agree with Chip this line isn't necessary...
The illicit whisper and the peak of my nipples
For me it slowed down the flow
buttersabout 13 years agoand would only lose a few 'the's. sometimes repetition works, sometimes it doesn't - and sometimes it's about the reader not the writer as we have differing tastes.
for me, it works because there's something almost hypnotic in the repetitions - they focus me on the imagery.
if there's one line that sticks out because it jars where the rest run pretty smoothly, it's this:
The illicit whisper and the peak of my nipples
it makes me wonder if you need that line at all. do you think you'd lose too much if it wasn't there?
