Before it was over

I feel like Im floating
Alone in space
No strings to bind me
Im lost in this place
In this uncertainty
The one thing
Person
I thought I could count on
Dosent seem to be
Here
I feel I care
Do too much
And wonder
Is it really me at all?
This dark cloud hanging
Black and waiting
I think something has
Changed
But not sure what
I cant get what I need
I hate myself for wanting
Hating him for not giving
A woman he says he loves
Feeling like only a girl
Who sleeps in his bed
I know he loves me
(I think)
But I cant see it
I feel strained, drained
Grasping for air
Stumbling
No hands to help me
My heart breaks
At just his sight
It hurts to see
And not touch
I ache to feel him
His lips on my mouth
His words in my ear
I crave to hear him say
“I love you
I want you
You’re beautiful
You make me happy
I want you
I need you
I’d die for you
I love you
I love you
I love you.”
I feel like a child
Trying so hard
To gain attention
What am I doing wrong?
Why cant he love me?
Or if he does
(he does)
Why cant he show it?
(he does)
Why cant I see it?
I ache to be whole
So many pieces missing
I need to feel complete
Im taking up space
In a life I don’t own
In a world I don’t belong in
Im a shell
Breakable
Weak and cracking
I need to feel I belong to him
Im scared of losing
Losing him
Losing myself
I love with all my heart
Feel with my being
I just wish
I didn’t feel so alone
I cant do it on my own.