- Erotic Poetry
- before we lose sight
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Click herefaith is a thread
a trip wire in a field of mud
that let us stagger on
knowing
something
has
changed
and it's not only blood
that is spilling out
the corner of your mouth
but words
trickling like cold smoke
drips from your lips
and dissolves
before landing
on mine
coming closer
still closer
here below
we will merge
but in that moment
your words will
become mine
where your hair
is a steel bar curtain
sheild shading my perimeter
to touch and taste alone
and your blood will smear
my tongue
with a scent of iron
that no faith no fantasy
can wash away
so why fight the night?
let me taste that descending exhale
and your downpour of mantra
sing the last song
tell the last tale
a tantric transcript sanskrit
soul searching stumble
in your murderous mumble
muffled in my mouth
at last
- COMMENTS
WickedEveover 19 years agoI love it and I love the part fool mentioned. This is cool and unique and I truly believe you are the king of erotic poetry here at lit. :)
sackover 19 years agoWhat is she, a vampire or something? I don't understand why blood is introduced, where elsewhere in the poem the build up appears to be leading to a simple kiss. I have never read of hair being compared to a steel bar curtain shield. Kind of turns me off, as hair is so different from steel. Even if you want to use unusual words/phrases they still need to make some kind of sense in English. I gave this a "5" because of its uniqueness, but ideally needs to me tightened up, with the icky whimsy wordplay revisited. One can be simply too clever and you've crossed that line here...
The_Foolover 19 years agoI love the play of language. This part just kills me:
a tantric transcript sanskrit
soul searching stumble
in your murderous mumble
muffled in my mouth
at last
One small edit: sheild = shield
