Beginning the End

I believed our love was kismet,
I had no need to formulate a life plan without you.
Now, I have to gather up the pieces,
But do I use a broom? A basket?
My self-indulgence is so intense,
It requires a great deal of strength to step outside
What was once known as our nest.

Last week,
When I summoned the energy to sample the world
The fresh air flowed through me, adding to the chill.
The sunshine made me ache for your warmth.
Venturing out into the rain brought to mind
Refreshing showers we once shared.
Rustling trees whispered your name.
Every songbird's melody evoked memories
Of our musical moments.

Even a brief foray at night caused deep pain.
The moon's brightness reminded me of your smile.
The ocean's deep hue brought remembrance
Of smooth skin and blackberry eyes.
The pounding waves crashing upon the shore
Elicited images of erotic endeavors.

Yesterday,
I was so surrounded by sadness
I threw caution to the wind,
Entered a hailstorm
And offered my pain as a gift.
It only pelted me with its fury,
And returned me slightly bruised
And yet unbroken.

Today,
I stepped inside a tornado
To assuage my shattered spirit
But once it realized its angry flurry of debris
Was no match for my anguished sorrow,
It sat me down at my front door,
Completely intact and still bereaved.

Now,
I am at a loss because,
Like you,
Mother Nature and Father Time
Won't accept my personal sacrifices
Or my willingness to be flexible and humble.
I beg for peace, but as each day passes, there is none.
I cry continually for help with the wail of my heart,
Praying that someone will hear the screaming.

I am searching for answers in a panic
Because what is supposed to be a new beginning
Also has the face of an end

How am I to tell them apart?