Bird and Diamond

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79 words
4.5
1.9k
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I would find her clothes
scattered on the floor, sometimes

perched on a chair or dresser
like a skylark, singing

of its nervous Spring love,
and I thought of Shelley and

hisblithe spirit and how
she always was fielding my love

like it was a softball, popped
easily into the outfield

but carelessly dropped,
so that runs and runs and runs

scored against me
while, artfully, she laughed.

Survivor Poetry Contest
Trigger 12, Poet's Choice (Free Verse)

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5 Comments
tazz317tazz317over 11 years ago
AN ERROR A DAY

keeps the streak alive. TK U MLJ LV NV

TheRainManTheRainManalmost 15 years ago
Good Read

I think the clothing/skylark simile is poorly considered, forced and unnatural. Otherwise, I think the poem was well-executed. Again, I find your voice light and unobtrusive, easy to like.

Epmd607Epmd607almost 15 years ago
artfully, she laughed

I liked the poem as an entity, I accept the skylark thread as surreal, but I don't really like the title. Maybe the title is part of the contest.

annaswirlsannaswirlsalmost 15 years ago
perfect

your use of metaphor is wonderfully executed-- this poem, simply perfect. My heart aches.

GuiltyPleasureGuiltyPleasurealmost 15 years ago
*****

I scored this a full 100 but I find it hard to see the connection between discarded clothing and skylark singing. Having said that I did like this, well, enough to give it 100.