- Erotic Poetry
- bite
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his breath on my neck felt intimate, warm, safe
his hand stroking my hair
talking in hushed tones
making me dizzy, under a spell even.
suddenly pain,
searing through my neck
his teeth sink into my innocence
I grow limp beneath his clenched jaw
he promises I'll awaken remembering the pain I take for him
lying in his arms
the sun streams through his window
I feel the newness of his energy mixing with mine.
my body remembers his bite,
his pain,
the tender pale flesh of my throat,
the three blend seamlessly together.
I sigh.
I think he's worthy.
- COMMENTS
champagne1982almost 17 years agoYou presented this really well. I can almost feel the heat of his exhaust on my neck. A little too much telling here, but this is a short poem, so it's pretty hard to fit all you want to say into so few words. Maybe, try writing a new poem just concentrating on the bite. The other sensations as his teeth sink in need explanation too. I'd like to feel the sear and tear in empathy with the narrator and if you work at finding appropriately descriptive nouns, you'd have a really heady poem. As it is, this one's good. This poem is mentioned on the New Poems Review Thread in the Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum on the Literotica Bulletin Boards. Thanks for sharing, Carrie.
