- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Black Hills of South Dakota
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Bison roam and eat and watch
Lazy in the sun
Across the fields the turkeys come
Carousing just for fun
Killing time while sun goes down
Horses roam in shade
Idly snacking on the grass
Large and unafraid
Lightening streaks across the skies
Sounds of thunder quakes
Over hill and through the trees
Fearless sounds it makes
Squirrels and chipmunks gather nuts
Out for all to see
Unencumbered, unafraid
Talk from tree to tree
Hills that roll, then rise and fall
Daring one to roam
Across its path and back again
Keep from going home
Oh the blackness of the hills
The glory found within
A place that I have come to love, a place that’s always been…
- COMMENTS
champagne1982almost 17 years agoI apologize yet again for not recognizing the form. This is an especially good poem when read in this new light.
Sincerely, Carrie.
JakeRiversalmost 17 years agothe title as the first character of each line. What's impressive it that you were still able to make each line a key part of the visual image you were portraying.
I enjoyed reading this.
Regards, Jack
champagne1982almost 17 years agoon a second read, I found your enjambments. I apologize. They would be more evident if you didn't break your lines at each rhyme and got rid of the caps at the beginning of them all. If Word insists on adding capitals at a hard enter, you can turn the feature off at the tools options bar, auto-correct button.
champagne1982almost 17 years agoI liked the change in line length. It kept the rhyme scheme from lulling me into drowsiness. Or maybe it's the coffee. This is a good poem. Full of imagery and interest. Try embedding your rhymes into lines through different line breaks that use enjambment of one thought into the next. Doing so will change the flow of your voice into something more speech-like. That's just a thought. Thanks for sharing.
