- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Bugle Still Resounding
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LEMONIA (F)LEAP EDELTRAUD => AND SO, YOU ALL GO...
HILLSIDE
MONDAY MORNING (02:55)
1/7/2013
(To M.)
BUGLE STILL RESOUNDING
I'm jealous of your peace and tranquility,
I say this with respect and with humility,
Cause maybe I was wrong and you were right,
I left home and I travelled for a day dream,
And maybe it was all just a capricious whim,
That's left as my complaint every night.
I don't pretend that I have changed attitude,
Maybe the fault lies in this southern latitude,
But suffering is real where you may be,
The ghost maybe will go, not its temptation,
That predefines my mortal inclination,
So, I don't know how things are going to be.
The bugle of loneliness is still resounding,
The constellations still my dream surrounding,
But I am getting freer every day,
We knew it years ago, this bugle of loneliness,
In its uncertainty and its unhollyness,
Let's hope that it will soon go away.
- COMMENTS
todski28almost 10 years agoMagnetron beat me to the edit, but all in all I enjoyed this, interesting rhyme structure the rhyming couplet then a first and fourth line rhyme softens the rhyme and gives it more of an assonance quality.
Also
The line
I left home and I travelled for a day dream
Could probably lose the second I.
Magnetronalmost 10 years ago'I say this with respect and with humility,'
With twice is unnecessary if you change it to
'I say this with all due respect and humility,'
