But I wish I could

I don't write for my health, but I wish I could
Catharsis should spill out of me
Reflect back from the screen
Heal my head

I don't wake up alive all the time any more, but I wish I could
Feelings only stop by on weekends
Offer me steaming noodles, bracing tea and a hug
Leave me again, stripped and dead

I don't handle stress, but I wish I could
Pressures puncture my steely mind
Waterfall down over me
Pummel me till tears I shed

I can't do this dance

I don't wish I could