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Click hereIt kills me
Kills me
That I let such pale promises
Over-ride my synaptic sensibility
Letting this train wreck
Leave me maudlin and maddened
When it should have set me free
It kills me that for
Time that shall go uncounted
I sipped from cups of sweet tea
When I’m a sporadic coffee bean queen
Who rests her laurels on pads of paper
Wet with scrawls of ink
It’s like I was super-sizing my fries
At a time when salads suited better
The needs of my soul and my sanity
Like I regurgitated reality
For the intake of fancy free fantasy
And there I was,
Engaging in an Earl-grey fray
When my java jazz has been here
In front of me
My favorite café, right time of day
And I could have just poured the cream.
My comments on your poem are on the new poems thread in the poetry forum. I did not use the thermometer for rating.
There are so many good lines in this poem and some great alliteration. It reads well aloud and deserves several go-throughs. Good 'un Eummie!
:Note: I no longer use the thermometer.
It kills me that for
Time that shall go uncounted
I sipped from cups of sweet tea
When I?m a sporadic coffee bean queen
Who rests her laurels on pads of paper
Wet with scrawls of ink
that last line especially just seems to define you at that moment. wonderful smooth read that is contemplative and determined. I enjoyed this very much :)