Carving Out My Soul

When I no longer laugh, when the air is dead silent.
When the light gets darker,
when the roof that's protecting me seems like a basement.

So low, cause I got no high.
Makes my head spin,
just gonna lock myself in my bedroom and cry.

Brain needs a switch,
to shut off all the shit coming through my mind.
Before this huge storm comes and picks me up
from where I'm hiding in a ditch of old memories.

How come I got no caution sign? No flashing little red light?
They expected me to know my way in the dark,
to climb up that flight of stairs blinded.
Get myself out of this fucking hole
that I've let grow way too deep.

This isn't like a pain you've ever experienced before,
inside's where the hurt is,
like a knife is cutting and carving out even more of my soul.

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This is to the pain coursing through my veins.
This is my addiction to you, killing me, making me go insane.
Drive a drill through my brain, cut out all those imperfections.
Maybe this'll give this world what it needs, a resurrection.

Telling me to go hide so nobody has to see you anymore.
Look behind those walls deep in the ally,
where your life fails as it falls.

I might be messed up,
there's things I've tried that are fucked up.
There's not a cure, it's all stuff you gotta endure.

Now, this is where reality drops,
on my head where the veins pop.
Promising I won't lie again,
that's like saying I'm not breathing.
This demon inside me, is sucking the air out of me.

Making your insides cry out.
Screaming and sobbing, rolling all around on the floor.
Surrounding where it all started.
Those memories can never be erased,
this pain can never go away.
I've just got to suck it up,
or move away and slap paste on my face.