- Erotic Poetry
- Chaleur
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CHALEUR
Full blood-red moon
speaks of tomorrow's heat
and paints her body
with a faint crimson glow
so compelling it rouses him
from deep satiated slumber.
The curve of her breast
above the sheet's satin edge
calls out to his fingers
and he can do nothing but obey
as his cooled flesh is re-warmed
by fresh flames of longing.
His other hand slips silently
between her parted thighs,
making her stretch and squirm
against his gently probing fingers,
as she moans his name
and rolls her body toward his.
Though he has tasted all
of the sweet nectars she offers
two times already this night,
his thirst is now renewed
by the sight of the swollen purple patch
at the swell of her breast.
Mottled tattoo of desire and need
beckons him to return to sip
the fine vintage of her essence,
requiring but a single nip from his teeth
before the wound is reopened
and his tongue bathes in her dusky blood.
- COMMENTS
vrosej10about 13 years agoPretty good. Watch your adjectives and adverbs. Add only those that are essential; ie those that create unique images. Not bright sun (the sun is always bright) blue sun (unique).
GuiltyPleasureabout 13 years ago....poems you submit today this is not my favourite altho' I like much of it - the way you gradually reveal the vampire and you use of language.
I would change some words - eg. - "roll" to "turn" in the last line of stroph 3 and "patch" to "place" in line 5 verse 4. Small niggles I agree but roll and patch seem somehow out-of-place in your worthy poem.
Tess
