- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Cherished
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I'm not a child,
but childlike in my needs,
approval and love grasped, savoured
as a living thing, tucked away
in a silk lined memory
to hold in the future as a shield
against adversity.
Each petal smoothed, kept pristine,
lest it should crumble
into betrayal and dust.
And should you chance upon my dreams
please close the box with care,
for I am needy and cannot always
understand that love will
come my way again,
so what I have is cherished.
- COMMENTS
Esperanza_Hidalgoabout 13 years agoexpression about appreciating the now of love. When one can relate poetry to one's station in life--meaning lights in brilliance. This is a shining star.
vrosej10about 13 years agoGo UnderYourSpell! This blew me away and is getting a recommend. You are being very emotionally honest here.
I only found one bug. That 'and' in line 11. Drop it and see how much tighter it is.
fridayamabout 13 years agoand cherished it's emotional honesty. I would query the punctuation though--it felt like there should be a semi-colon after line 2 and then no full stop after line 7, to let the thoughts flow on. x
buttersabout 13 years agoexudes honesty
it feels absolutely true to itself, is unapologetic and doesn't leave a reader feeling uncomfortable having read it. i think your write absolutely engages with the reader, and that's not always easy with this sort of material - so many shut the reader out, where this addresses them directly.
