- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Child
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Click hereThe auburn-haired girl
stares into the blond man’s eyes.
The ballroom seems to move around her.
Far away, but ever so close.
She can almost feel the velvet of his coat.
They find each other.
She strokes his face,
Ever so soft.
They come together and dance.
She doesn’t know his name.
She knows the face.
She kisses him,
Wraps her arms around him.
She’s living in dreams past.
* * *
This work is a part of an anthology of poetry from my past. It was written sometime between 1995 and 1998.
- COMMENTS
LeBrozover 17 years agoLast comment could have been more constructive. You've just made a factual statement ~ cold, unemotional. What kind of kiss? Was it rushed or slow and sensual? Did their souls melt together?
Anonymousabout 20 years agoOne of my teachers always used to tell us, "Show me, don't tell me!" I think that would be appropriate constructive advice for this poem. Don't tell us that they're kissing, SHOW us. Don't tell us that they're dancing, that they're touching, etc. Instead, show us. Poetry is a great way for showing instead of telling. Take advantage of the poetic freedom to paint pictures with words and I guarantee you that you'll have a much more remarkable poem.
