China doll

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56 words
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If fold she must as her master did decree
let it be with grace and poise.
Each dainty toe, crushed now
to fill a doll sized shoe, describing
delicately a fragile flower
petals unopened paper thin.
Breasts but twin buds,
beneath each pleat
creased and placed just so.
China doll compliant always to a higher will

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5 Comments
unpredictablebijouunpredictablebijouover 15 years ago
I like most of what you write

But this one really brings out your particular voice. There's this wonderful shell, very delicate, over an undercurrent of anger. Really good work.

AnschulAnschulalmost 16 years ago
Beautiful

I liked it too, soft and sweet. I do agree with Eve, but UYS, you're a wonderful poet, with a gentle touch.

A

WickedEveWickedEvealmost 16 years ago
~

Last line is fantastic. Some other good lines: fill a doll sized shoe/beneath each pleat creased and placed just so. There are parts of the poem that could be improved: Each dainty toe/fragile flower/petals unopened/Breasts but twin buds -- kind of cliche phrases.

LeBrozLeBrozalmost 16 years ago
██

Makes submission sound so delicate and sweet.

AngelineAngelinealmost 16 years ago
Your Poem

has been recommended in the New Poems Reviews thread today on Literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum. Thanks for the read!