Choice in Not Choosing

Afraid of Life 2

Not choosing

paralyzed in bed
covers more alluring

than sweet wind,
fragrant coffee,
heavy white clouds
against the blue sky,
and friends' laughter

choice made
by inaction

stuffed with longing,
regret, submission,
false reasoning,
loose anti-ambitions

still, just look
at the red, digital numbers
and choose not to get up

phone unanswered
message left
job lost

out of anger
from not wanting
the pressure to perform;
not liking
the backstabbing
of jealous colleagues

not knowing
my inaction
was a choice
to last a lifetime.