Choking the Chicken

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Choking the chicken or beating my pud,
That’s what I used to do.
Spanking the monkey or whacking my wood,
Lacking a girl to screw.

Eighteen years old and as cherry as Hell,
Just like ‘most all my pals.
Most of the girlies were virgins as well,
Choices were made by gals.

When I got older, I found, oh, my God
Things hadn’t changed a bit.
Women still acted like I was a clod,
Hopeless and out of it.

I had three choices and not any more
One was be celibate.
Or I could pay out big bucks to a whore,
Or I could masturbate.

I was too horny to just let it go,
Couldn’t ignore my dick,
Hookers were ‘xpensive; I hadn’t the dough.
Still got to choke the chick.