christmas poem parody

Twas the night before Christmas,
no sound could be heard
my boyfriend played video games
from behind I shot him the bird

The stockings were hung
on my thighs with some care
and a black satin thong
on my ass
in hopes
he’d cum there

I layed on my bed
and thought “what a turd”
then outside came a noise
he must not have heard

almost naked I bitched
and grumbled toward the door
and there I saw something
I hadn’t before

A man filled the doorway
I backed up real quick
“who are you? where is Santa”?
“Well im his son Dick”

he too dressed in red
well except the black shoes
and had a nice ass
what the fuck could I lose

I flopped down on the couch
and opened my thighs
“Well Dick, did you bring
this poor girl a surprise?”

Dick grinned
said”you bet”
and opened his pack
with an ass like he had
I didn’t notice it up an his back

he brought out some toys
and he brought em out quick
I looked at his crotch and thought
what a big dick
He pleasured me hard
it turned out most pleasant
and taught me to use
each and every present

when at last he was finished
I thought of the prick
no .not that one
the one on his game
that makes me right sick

“Did you bring him a present”?
I asked tired Dick
“Yes a sign that says FUCK ME
because that bastard is thick

A nice ass in a thong
should say it quite well
all I can say is as a baby
he must have fell

I lay on that couch
my chest still heaving
while I watched Dick pack up
and go about leaving

and I heard him exclaim
as he went into the night
Fuck your girl when she’s horny
or someone else might