Christmas with my sister

Twas the nite b4 christmas, and all thru the house
Not a creature was fucking.. not even a mouse

The IV's and Gavels were hung by the chimney in red..

In hopes that the kids.. would soon get, the fuck in their beds..

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of vampires and princesses' danced in their heads;

And mamma in her nighty, and I in my non laytex wrap...

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap, ( yeah.. sure we were )

When out in the creek, there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.

Away to the back door I flew like a flash,

Tore open the door and smelled a bowl full of hash.

The dude on the breast of the local Fallansbee hoe

Gave the auctioneer the impression, I'm being left out, oh no!!

When, what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,

But a ¾ ton chevy , and eight gutted mule deer..

With a little bearded driver, so lively and quick,

I saw my future brother in law.. the guy I thought was a dick

More rapid than horses his curses they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called me by name;

Go back to DC, from which thou came... and call it a day..
Cause my sister is too good.. yes I mean for you to get laid...

Come down off that porch! Then around the fucking wall!

Stop fucking my sisters.. and yes I mean all...

So I sprang to my van.. , with so little light...

And drove away fast.. out into the nite..

But I heard him exclaim, as I drove out of sight,
Come around my sister.. and we're gonna fight..

But what the man with the curses.. had failed to see...
Was his smoking red hot sister.. in my van on her knees..