Coffeehouse Haiku

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Espresso's flavor
is like a graceful symphony;
always surprising

Outside cars drive by
going nowhere so fast and loud;
no time for haiku

Here is a painting
of a red rose, beautiful
as any three-D one

The swan coffeehouse
isn't the tables, art, or coffee;
more like an idea

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2 Comments
vrosej10vrosej10over 14 years ago
~

I agree with the previous comment. Simile and metaphor are never meant to be presented directly in haiku (try just removing the word like). I'm giving you a 75% because I know how hard it can be to write good haiku.

lorencinolorencinoover 14 years ago
~

Interesting collection but needs work. For example, I see no point in the "like" in the second line of the first haiku. It serves only to blunt the effect of the line.

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