- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Coins
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Love and hate are so close to each other,
just like peace and war.
Both side of the same shining coin,
easily flipped to one side or another.
I don't know where I stand with you,
but it doesn't matter now.
I don't know where you stand either,
you're still spinning around.
I watch the coin, spinning fast,
so fast it makes a circle.
As it spins, I think about
the sides you portrayed to me.
One side, good. Sweet and kind.
You helped me keep my piece of mind,
When the rest of the world was harsh,
You eased me into complacency.
Your voice lulled me, your arms held me,
helped me ease into peaceful sleep.
Everything you did suited me perfectly,
And before long, I knew I was in deep.
But then you flipped and showed the other side,
And I saw just what you had to hide.
Bad control, a foul mouth, a temper foul,
So many times did I bite my tongue, otherwise I'd howl.
I thought I knew you, guess I was wrong,
Started listening to a bunch of sad songs,
Trying to keep the pain at bay,
And then you cried out, "Nay!"
"That isn't who I am, truly I'm good!
Just stay with me a little longer!"
I think about it, try again, maybe I should.
But you spin like a coin, and I know I can't.
I slap my hand down,
the coin is flat on the table.
Not to my surprise,
The side shown is the tail.
- COMMENTS
twelveooneabout 13 years agodoes not determine whether a reader reads. here are a few suggestions.
1st avoid more than two submissions, on a day like today most will avoid the multiple's
2nd go though the other poems, you will see what I mean, start by reading the comments before you read the poem. leave some comments.
3rd ruthlessly edit; what is the point of the poem, cut what doesn't support, cut some of the side trips, most important cut anything that sounds like you heard it before (it's a cliche)
4th the first two lines are very important, a good rule of thumb, is that they should be two of your best.
Are we beginning to see a problem? I scored a 4, I scanned it, you can take it one of two ways, you can resent it and retaliate, or take it as some good advice. The anon's won't be as nice or as generous.
